Renae Cruz

It’s a Mommy Thing

When people think of a “classic”, it’s usually a euphemism for “old”. Classic cars, classic Coke, classic pickles are all examples. Wait…that’s Vlasic pickles.  Anywho, with all the talk of gherkins, it’s easy to forget that a classic can refer to a definitive work in a particular field. With that in mind, “It’s a Mommy Thing”, released by Elegant Angel, ranks as a classic MILF title by any measurement –except possibly hectares. (What the hell is a hectare, anyway?)

Directed by the sublime Patrick Collins, who has etched his name onto some of the more aesthetically pleasing Elegant Angel titles like All By Myself and Girl Play, the film is sexually charged assemblage of some of the most alluring MILF specimens to ever spread their thighs on a couch. But, the beauty of Collins’ work is that he thinks outside the Barcalounger, placating the masses with creative situational scenarios in any number of different settings. And, in what seems to be a growing trend for porn companies large and small, his devotion to chemical compatibility between performers and real female orgasms only solidifies his rising prominence as a director. Granted, the former generally helps ensure the latter, but the fact that conscious thought is put into such fundamentally critical aspects of adult filmmaking is certainly one of the things that sets him apart from the directorial pack and translates to the success of the It’s a Mommy Thing series. The fact that the MILF phenomenon is as popular and as vibrant as ever doesn’t hurt either.

Shows like Sex in the City, Desperate Housewives and others have raised awareness to the fact that early-to-middle-aged housewives still have basic needs and urges that have to be satisfied. And though the women on those shows live fraudulently complicated lives thanks to scriptwriters, the need for sex is a very real part of a real existence and the lack of it can make one do crazy things. So, in a way, one could make the argument that those shows may not be so unrealistic after all (even though they are).

Now, it’s not that younger men and society as a whole didn’t find moms to be attractive before the prevalence of this kind of programming; it’s just that television has a way of not only bringing attention to things, but creating a market for it. Monkey see, monkey do. We don’t want to get too far off topic here, but it’s hard to argue that the rising popularity of MILFs thanks to television, along with the return to a more organic kind of porn flick, hasn’t done wonders for this series as is evidenced by its current #3 all-time ranking in our VOD. But just because something is popular, doesn’t mean it’s good. So, is the lofty ranking justified? Read the following run-down of the action, watch it and decide for yourself.

Kristal Summers is supposed to drive James Deen to the game, but she drives him crazy instead. Though she attempts to act coy, she’s been preparing for them to be alone for some time. His fingers and mouth advance beyond her cloth barrier, frisking her wet twat and huge tits. He eats her out on the pool table and she drops to her knees to devour his thick cock. He bangs her in stand-up doggie, RCG, spoon and then holds his shaft steady while she one-hands the cum out of his sack. In the second scene, blonde MILF Nicole Moore’s son is away when his buddy comes calling, but she invites him inside anyway. She insists that he take off his shades, though that keeps him from staring at her tits without being noticed. After he helps do some chores around the house, she gets him to take off a few other items too. But it’s all just a tease. She leaves him to ponder what just happened while she goes back inside and pleasures herself with a vibrator. She knew he’d eventually come inside. After tonguing her gash, fucking her mish, doggie and RCG, and getting his own balls and dick sucked, he cums, but outside, on her big natural tits. Darryl Hanah and Renae Cruz have a strange mother-daughter relationship. Darryl loves it when Renae tells her stories about Johnny, Renae’s boyfriend. They get Darryl all wet and Renae takes full advantage, talking Darryl into opening her legs and letting her tongue slide in. She gets Darryl to admit she wants Johnny’s cock in her mouth and ass. He conveniently shows up right on cue as if the whole thing were planned. They rotate through many of the standard threeway positions, but one in particular takes the cake: Johnny eats Darryl’s wet pussy while Renae rubs her clit to near orgasm on Johnny’s bald head. It’s a scene you have GOT to see. Daryl also takes it in the ass in this one. C.J. comes home from college earlier than expected, but Nina Hartley is thrilled no less. During their discussion, C.J. reveals he has trouble getting close to college girls mostly on account of he has a thing for Nina. The iconic lovebird and instructional guru shows him exactly how it’s done, fondling his balls and stroking his cock, then riding him until the dismount and cumshot onto the lens of her glasses. Finally, Angelica Sin teaches her daughter, Alexis Love, some pointers on how to ensnare and keep a man happy. As is usual, some lessons are best learned in a hands-on environment. So, Alexis practices on her boyfriend. She delicately flutters her tongue all around his head and sucks the tip of his cock. When Angelica busts in on them, the boyfriend thinks he’s done for, but Angelica just wants to join in to make sure Alexis is doing it correctly. There is some breast play, masturbation and some awesome angles of Alexis’ scrumptious body, cute natural tits and shaved pussy as she gets fucked.

For those of you into MILF films, this is about as good as it gets. If, after watching this, the whole concept still doesn’t make sense, then you wouldn’t understand anyway. But that’s okay because it’s a mommy thing.

Categories: All Sex M.I.L.F.
Running Time:   159 minutes
Released:   06/2007
Director:   Patrick Collins

It’s a Mommy Thing

Not that porn gets talked about around the water cooler on  Mondays, but if there were some water cooler chat that needed to be chatted about in regards to It’s a Mommy Thing, besides an appearance by smoking hot Kristal Summers, porn legend Nina Hartley’s return to Elegant Angel, MILF extraordinaire Nicole Moore sporting a backpack, the two scenes with threesomes, Angelica Sin’s teaching spicy teenager Alexis Love how to suck cock like an adult, or how this blog entry seems hellbent on trying to say what it needs to say in a single sentence, it’s Patrick Collins’ hatred of couches.

Here, Collins goes out of his way to supplement the ridiculous beauty of his female subjects by non-conforming to the most bland and ubiquitous of all porn props. Instead he concentrates his faculties on creativity, chemistry, and cumming, especially on the part of the women.

IAMT, according to the box blurb is an “assemblage of the most beautiful and depraved MILF’s in the industry…a sexually sophisticated depiction of fantasy role-playing at its best.” Translation: This movie is ranked #3 in our most-watched movie of all-time category. It is time you found out why.

Categories: All Sex M.I.L.F.

Running Time:   159 minutes
Released:   06/2007
Director:   Patrick Collins

Hot Shower All-Stars

Starring: Alexis Love, Ann Harlow, Ashley Blue, Cassandra, Celeste Star, Jenna Haze, Lola Banks, Mary Carey, Phoenix Ray, Katie Morgan and Renae Cruz

I guess a fair question would mostly have to be this: if a couple girls take a shower together with the end idea being that they get clean, does licking each other’s pussies and tits and other parts make them cleaner or dirtier when they’re done? As a monster I don’t really know the answer to that question at all, but I never thought much about showers and stuff since we don’t really take no shower or even no bath for all that matter. We mostly just find a lake or lick ourselves or hope it rains or something. So, I guess from a monster side of things, the added tongues to the twats would make them cleaner and the dirtier part would be more in one of them metafourikal ways.

After watching this film and the cute girls of all shapes and sizes hooking up in a shower, I think I’m going to have to try me some shower fucking after this. Katie Morgan and Phoenix Ray steam up the screen in the first bit of play with a bunch of fingering, toy play and masturbation. Stormy and Mary Carey add some 69 to that last bit in the second scene. Jenna Haze and Cassandra turn up the steam even more with an outdoor shower scene though all that steam kinda vanishes into the air. They’re super into each other and do pussy grinding and some 69. They look really hot together, and would even look hotter with me fucking them!

Celeste Star and Alexis Love take over the screen and will mostly bust open the fly of your pants in the next scene. They’re also outside and sexy as all hell, especially Alexis and her slick, totally shaved slit. Not only do they finger each other, but they do some strap-on shower fucking that is big intense! Renae Cruz and Lola Banks add a rim job to the action and Ann Harlow brings her mega-slender body and really hairy pussy to her scene with Ashley Blue.

So, you can see that it’s all shower stuff, but each pair puts some unique twists into their fucking, making this a for sure see film. Now I gotta go and try to wash off all my dirty thoughts, though it’s gonna take a big ton of soap!