Jamie Gillis

Vista Valley PTA

July 25, 2011

Remember that song Harper Valley PTA? You know … the 1968 country chart-topper sung by Jeannie C. Riley? You know … the song that inspired the 1978 motion picture and 1981 television series starring Barbara Eden? You know … the woman who played Jeannie in the I Dream of Jeannie sitcom?

Oh, you don’t. Well, that means you’re young and all of us old people are shaking our fists at you right now … well, if we still had elbow joints, that is. Despite our physical infirmities, we can assure you that the song, the television series and Barbara Eden are all classics as is this film, Vista Valley PTA, a rather loose reconstruction of the Harper Valley premise.

Directed by Anthony Spinelli and released by Cal Vista, the film centers around the blonde, lovely Jessie St. James, an educator who arrives in Vista Valley to help clean up the image of the local high school. Two of its female teachers have suffered forcible sex at the hands of students in recent months and one of the male teachers has been beaten to within an inch of his life. Why a beautiful woman such as she is sent to the frontlines to shape up a bunch of derelicts is beyond us, but it does prove to dredge up a lot of conflict, always a good thing for a porn flick because it leads to torrid sex more times than not. But she’s not the only one responsible for the great fucking.

Richard Pacheco and Dorothy Lemay are a truant couple messing around in a convertible before class. Dorothy is coerced into playing with herself by her delinquent boyfriend. Both she and he slide their fingers through her furry pussy, loosening her up enough for her to go down on the impatient Richard. The bell rings as she lowers her mouth over the head of his cock, but she quickly sucks and jerks him to orgasm.

The late, great Jamie Gillis plays a sexually repressed religious zealot who hires a hooker (Desiree West) for his enjoyment. He prefers she finger fuck herself while he sits and masturbates into a Kleenex. She’s a bit creeped out as you too will be by his performance, especially when he grabs her hair and yells at her to repent for her wickedness. Even creepier is when he goes home and bursts in on his topless daughter (Sharon Kane), yet lingers in the room while she hurries to get dressed, even feeling her up in the process. Gillis’ versatility made him one of the best in the biz.

The incredible Kay Parker and her husband, Aaron Stuart are a married couple who hate each other, though he still wants on-demand sex when he gets home from work. He bullies Kay out of her one-piece jumpsuit, releasing her stupendously large tits and full bush, then fucking her silly before spurting cum up her belly. In true selfish form, he rolls over and falls asleep leaving her to finger her gorgeous slit to orgasm.

As stellar as are those first few scenes, the real fireworks begin after St. James calls a PTA meeting to discuss the current state of the school. While she preaches the necessity for strong parenting and ethics, what transpires afterward is anything but. Jamie Gillis fills his daughter’s mouth with cum; John Leslie fucks Juliet Anderson and then her daughter, Dorothy, as mom masturbates outside the room. Then, mom and daughter hook up with mom burying her face in Dorothy’s twat; Pacheco hooks up with St. James after he reads his overtly sexual report to her; and in the last scene Leslie, Ken Scudder, Lee LeMay and John Seeman gangbang St. James under threat of running her and her hoity-toity moral code out of town on a rail.

An astonishing adult film ‘Vista Valley P.T.A.’ unflinchingly brings the sin in the suburbs to the screen with amazing realism as the students of Vista Valley High School and their parents mix it up sexually among themselves and each other! It’s a nest of sex perversion, greed and out-and-out lust. From classroom to boardrooms to bedrooms, ‘Vista Valley P.T.A.’ is simply amazing.

Stars: Dorothy LeMay Jessie St. James Kay Parker Desiree West Sharon Kane Richard Pacheco Kitty Shayne Juliet Anderson Jamie Gillis John Leslie Aaron Stuart

Categories: Classic 80’s Feature

Running Time: 85 minutes

Released: 02/1981

Studio Name: Cal Vista Classic

Director: Anthony Spinelli

Blame it on Ginger

July 18, 2011

Porn spoofs have been around forever, it’s just that they weren’t called “The Official (insert title) XXX Parody” as they are today. Much of that had to do with the fact that the characters and plots were a lot more loosely-based, almost to the point where only flecks of the original concept remained. Still, similar artwork, fonts and enough visual clues were used to hint at some connection however far-fetched.

Released by Vivid Video circa 1986, Blame it on Ginger is, more or less, a loose reworking of the 80s classic Blame it on Rio, which starred Michael Caine (remember him?) as a middle-aged business guy who gets randy with the young daughter of his best bud. Starring the incomparable Ginger Lynn, BIOJ explores the sex lives of several couples and the chaos that results after Ginger tells a little white lie to friends about her beau, Cyril (Tom Byron). She raves that he is a demon in the sack, though he’s really a clumsy, inexperienced oaf. Still, as rumors spread about the supposed stud muffin, formerly content couples begin to question the satisfaction in their own relationships.

The rest is a mad little merry-go-round of sex and seduction full of threeways, orgies, anal fingering, scintillating blowjobs and massive cumshots by an all-star cast that includes Barbara Dare, Platinum-locked Lois Ayres, and Rebecca Lynn, plus leading male mainstays Jamie Gillis Joey Silvera, Tom Byron and Peter North, all of whom went on to have successful directorial stints.

And we have Ginger to blame for it all.

Stars: Ginger Lynn Barbara Dare Lois Ayres Rebecca Lynn Peter North Joey Silvera Tom Byron Jamie Gillis

Categories: Feature Classic 80’s

Running Time: 78 minutes

Released: 01/2004

Studio Name: Vivid Entertainment

Ball Busters

May 31, 2011

If there are any lessons to take away from the Cal Vista classic called “Ball Busters” they are:

1. Never catch rays while wearing your hair mohawk-style when two cops are on your property looking for a seven-foot tall perp with purple hair. It’s the quickest way to being interrogated as Lois Ayres finds out.
2. When you let the cops into your house for their call-in, be sure that your sister has not used a straw in the past hour and that any sugar you have spilled does not land on your moms compact or you’ll then be subject to a full-cavity drug search.

Jamie Gillis and Dan T. Mann perform the search on Lois in the opening scene, bending her over and slipping a couple lubed-up rubber-gloved fingers into her pussy and asshole. Of course, fingers transform to cocks during the throat portion of the search. A threesome breaks out and Lois takes two loads onto her face and tits. It’s just the kind of auspicious opening you’d expect from director Alex DeRenzy, a guy who never shied away from the dirtier side of adult cinema.

Winner of the 1986 AVN Award for Best All Sex Release, Ball Busters sports an impressive line-up of some of the all-timers in porn including: Nina Hartley, Ginger Lynn and John Leslie among others getting it on in true superstar fashion. Some of the other highlights include one of the more spank-worthy 69 scenes in latency memory between blonde lust maiden Gina Carrera and Jacqueline Lorians. The scene features well-paced alternating shots of each girl scooping out pussy juice from the other using their tongues. You can even see Gina’s ass clench up when she cums; a scrumptious, tight-bodied and very young Nina Hartley violating her wedding vows with John Leslie’s stiff cock. Her ass was one of the finest around at the time and it looks incredible here as Leslie slides his cock up and down her crack before fucking her doggie style. He follows his maneuvering with a large splash of cum up Nina’s belly in RCG; And Kelly Nichols makes her move on blonde haired, blue-eyed California beach girl, Erica Idol using dirty talk and Billy Idol imagery. She also plays show and tell with the young scamp like a live instruction manual on how to make love to a woman and suck a man’s cock. It’s a truly amazing scene.

But for any Ginger Lynn fan, the 5’3″ 100-pound cock sucking machine completely knocks it out of the park here with a mindblowing blowjob performed on Dan T. Mann. On top of that, she takes it in the ass. Words cannot do this one justice, so we won’t even try. Just know that Ball Busters is a complete triumph of early adult cinema. What’s more, the version in our VOD is the uncut version, digitally re-mastered for superior quality to the original.

So, which of the girls is the biggest ball buster? As always, you’ll have to tune in to judge for yourself.

Stars: Gina Carrera Kelly Nichols Nina Hartley Jamie Gillis John Leslie Ginger Lynn Dan T. Mann Jacqueline Lorians Joanna Storm

Categories: Classic 80’s Gold Feature Award Winning Movies

Running Time: 81 minutes

Released: 05/1984

Studio Name: Cal Vista Classic

Director: Alex DeRenzy

Roommates

May 23, 2011

One of the ironies of classic porn films, especially those that are revered as some of the greatest of all time, is that they are often lacking in the porn department. If you compare films of yore to today’s offerings, you would see how much more brash and in-your-face current titles have become. But much like trying to decide once-and-for-all the best athlete of all time or the greatest band of all time, the idea that comparative analysis between films of different generations can produce incontrovertible evidence that one is better than the other is more food for thought and fodder for discussion than an exact science.

Today’s porn has a lot working for it that directors and producers didn’t have two or three decades ago: societal values are looser; porn is more acceptable; and the technology that exists today allows filmmakers to do things and capture things that just weren’t possible back then. Despite the advancements, it doesn’t necessarily follow that the level of shock value contained in adult films was any less prevalent then than it is now, if taken in correct context.

But when we say “lacking in the porn department” we don’t always refer to quality. And in the case of Roommates, from 1981, the concern for many die-hard porn fanatics is a question of frequency. Still, the film is considered a triumph of adult cinema and for good reason. It has an excellent script, solid acting and keen production values. It conquered the Adult Film Association of America awards the year it was released. And it even managed to cross over into mainstream territory thanks to its being given an “R-rating” makeover.

Directed by Chuck Vincent, Roommates concerns three women, all strangers, who share an apartment in the hopes of not only making it in New York City, but also putting behind them some of the headaches and heartaches that have followed them in their lives. Their arrangement is a chance for all of them to start anew.

Billie (Samantha Fox) is a former call girl who has aspirations of making it in the world of advertising. Joan (Veroncia Hart) is a drama school graduate who is trying to hit the big time as an actress. And Sherry (Kelly Nichols) is a prominent fashion model whose fast-paced lifestyle had taken its toll on her relationships and her sobriety. Over the course of the film, the three of them form a close bond, relying on each other to keep on the straight and narrow. However, as hard as they try, their pasts continue to haunt them.

Billie gets blackmailed by a former pimp who threatens to expose her past should she fail to keep turning tricks. She gives the occasional blowjob to various men throughout, including a very inexperienced client played by Ron Jeremy. She also services several men at a bachelor party, but feels the old pain return when she realizes the bachelor party is for her lover Jim (Jack Wrangler).

Meanwhile, Joan hits it off with a gay co-actor named Eddie (Jerry Butler) during auditions for an upcoming play. Though they are close, she has been carrying on with a married man for weeks, holing up in hotel rooms and the like for quickie fucks and blowjobs that she hopes will lead to a declaration of love. When she discovers that her lover’s wife is pregnant, she is crushed but finds solace (and an unexpected fuck buddy) in Eddie after the two are approached by an agent who says that he wants to represent them. In their celebration, they fall into each other’s arms, knowing that it ultimately can’t go anywhere.

Sherry, in contrast, has been living on the edge, drinking and doing amyl-nitrite in line with her party lifestyle. Much of the time, her vices take her into frightening territory where she gets abused and violated by strange men. During one binge, she does a 69; during another, she gets gang fucked by four ruffians who use a bottle and tire iron in the attack, and piss on her as a final humiliation. She gets rescued from that attack by a guy named Joel (Jamie Gillis), who turns out to be a deranged pervert who then stalks her. In one scene, he masturbates over Sherry’s unconscious body. In another, he coerces Sherry into taking off her panties in a classy restaurant and proceeds to rub her clit under the table with his bare foot. His mind-bending performance as the insatiable psychopath earned him Best Supporting Actor Awards from the AFAA and CAFA for his mind-bending performance.

Roommates is beautifully crafted, beautifully acted and offers a rather sobering look into the struggles of big city life for three young girls trying to make it to the big time. And while it bubbles over with street cred due to its stunning level of realism, it comes up just a bit short in the fantasy department, which unfortunately hurts its porn cred. Should that in any way sully its status as one of the all-time great classics? Watch it and decide for yourself.

Stars: Veronica Hart Kelly Nichols Samantha Fox Ashley Moore Bobby Astyr Merle Michaels Jack Wrangler Ron Jeremy Jerry Butler Jamie Gillis Gloria Leonard

Categories: Feature Classic 80’s Gold

Running Time: 129 minutes

Released: 01/2003

Studio Name: Video X Pix

Director: Chuck Vincent

The Opening of Misty Beethoven

January 31, 2011

How do you determine whether or not an adult film is successful?

Do you look at objective measurements like raw sales receipts, awards won, or technical merit? Do you place precedent on more subjective arguments like star power or the strength of individual scenes? Or is it a combination of everything?

Not too long ago on this blog you may have caught the entry about Debbie Does Dallas, which, it could be said, is perhaps the most well-known and endearing porn flick ever created. At the time, we used the term “arguably” for a few reasons. First, there are other classics that have endured decades of scrutiny and have burrowed themselves firmly and comfortably into adult film lore. Second, there are too many variables to use the term “best”. Third, when you use equivocation within the context of a discussion you’re less likely to be called an idiot or a moron by readers because you have left the door open for debate instead of declaring yourself the expert.

Having said that, there are many inside and outside the industry who would suggest that The Opening of Misty Beethoven is without question the best adult film ever put to celluloid. The reasoning behind the thinking is that the movie satisfies nearly all the objective and subjective reasons laid out above. But is it an airtight case?

Before you answer that, let’s look at a Hollywood comparison between two films. The first film has one of the hottest names in film as the lead character. The other does not. The first film is rooted historical fact. The other is not. The first film has lush green film sets shot on-location, elaborate costuming, and loads of choreographed scenes . The other does not. The first film won 5 Oscars. The other won zero. So, does that mean the first film, Braveheart, is better than Kung-Fu Panda? Well, not if you were to look at the box office rankings. Braveheart is ranked 411^th all time and Kung-Fu Panda 48^th. But even those rankings would hold little sway if you hate Scottish heroes more than animated, ursine martial artists or vice-versa. It really comes down to what you like.

The case for TOOMB being the greatest of all-time goes like this:

Awards: Jamie Gillis won for Best Actor, Henry Paris (Radley Metzger) won for Best Director, and the film took home the Best Film award from the Adult Film Association of America. It took home the 2002 AVN Award for Best Classic DVD. And it is one of the first films to be inducted into the XRCO Hall of Fame.

Technical Merit: Cinematographer Robert Rochester took home an Oscar the following year for a documentary.

Star Power: Jamie Gillis, Gloria Leonard and director Radley Metzger comprise a strong cast and crew.

Strength of Scenes: The film stands as the earliest, widely distributed adult film to have a male character get “pegged” or take it up the ass via a strap-on. Add to that a strong plot based loosely on George Bernard Shaw’s play, Pygmalion, competent acting skills and comedic timing, and it makes for great entertainment. Below are a few of the funnier exchanges.

Misty: “Men stink.”

Dr. Love: “They think you stink. In fact, it’s one of the most perfectly balanced equations in nature.”

Dr. Love: “Most women stop sucking at the moment of orgasm. That, however, is when the real woman just begins to suck.”

Misty: “What’s the biggest difference between New York and Rome?”

Dr. Love: “There aren’t as many Italians in Rome.”

Dr. Love: “You know why people have unsatisfactory sexual relations?”

Misty: “No.”

Dr. Love: “They talk too goddam much.”

But can you honestly say that makes it the best? Probably not. Can you say it ranks it right up there among the best? Absolutely.

What can’t be argued is the plotline. Dr. Seymour Love (Jamie Gillis) is in search of the next Golden Rod Girl, the invention of one Lawrence Layman (Ras Kean). According to Dr. Love, the award is “unlike Cunt of the Year or Ballbreaker of the Century, because she is chosen informally and spontaneously.”

After he meets a lowly trick-turning whore named Misty in a porn theater, he wagers with his gal pal Geraldine (Jacqueline Beudant) that he can reform her into the most splendid sexual creature the world has ever laid eyes on, but she must “learn to develop in herself the instinct to convert a trivial act, a mundane routine, a daily chore into something stimulating, creative and above all communicative.”

The film proceeds through a musical montage of Misty’s training sessions, the highs, the lows, the inevitable growth of her ability as a sexpot. She practices her blowjobs on plaster penis molds and takes repeated cumshots to the face as part of her learning curve. It very much resembles a XXX intro to The Wonder Years or something like that.

Her skills are then put to the test in real life situations. First, she puts the moves on a wealthy socialite named Alfredo Spontini at the ballet. His impetuousness leads to a rather funny sequence. Then, she balls an impotent man, named so because he is gay. In seducing him, her legend grows to the delight of Dr. Love. Rumors and stories begin to surface among the townfolk and they begin to filter up to Lawrence Layman himself. Her ultimate validation comes at a socialite party where Misty demands to see Layman in person. Misty, Layman and his wife Barbara (Gloria Leonard) share in a hot threesome where the pegging mentioned above takes place. It’s a totally over-the-top scene.

Through it all, Dr. Love has fallen for Misty, but he has now created a monster. Monsters are good at one thing and one thing only: destruction. We won’t reveal the ending, but there is a major twist that you’ll just have to see.

Let the debate rage on about what classic film is the absolute best. Whatever criteria you use, this one ranks among the all-timers. It set the bar so high that few have ever come close to matching it in all aspects. If you have not seen this one, it’s high time you did so.

Stars: Constance Money Gary Wright Gayle Schafer Ras Kean David Chase Jacqueline Beudant Helene Simone Grover Griffith Mark Margolis Ian Morley Michael Ronds John Christopher Jamie Gillis Gloria Leonard Casey Donovan Michael Gaunt Terri Hall Marlene Willoughby Mary Stuart Crystal Sync Nancy Dare Cynthia Gardner Peter Andrews Jenny Baxter