Boobs, hooters, tits, fun bags, speed bumps, gazongas – whatever you call them it can only mean two things.
That’s the joke.
So, anyway, the French used to say that the perfect breast could fit into a champagne glass. Of course, the French used to surrender a lot, so it’s hard to put much stock into the conviction behind their belief system. Besides, have you ever actually looked at a champagne glass? If that shape doesn’t spell “get out the tire gauge and check those puppies for tread wear” nothing does. That said, who really knows what the perfect breast size is anyway? If beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder then surely bustage, being a subset of beauty, has its own special spot somewhere along the optic nerve.
If you like small tits, that’s great. If you like big tits, that’s great too. But, there’s one thing that megalo-melonical types can offer that no Braille bumped babes can and that’s a nice long fuck fissure straight along the longitudinal axis. Need proof? Then check out the film Gazongas by our pals over at Devil’s Film. They’re out to prove the theory that bigger is better when it comes to boobage. And if you mammage to get through the whole thing, we think you’ll see it their way.
The film stars Rebeca Linares. That’s really all you need to know, to be completely honest. Remember how a perfect breast goes into a champagne glass? Well, the perfect girl should go into a Rebeca Linares. We could listen to her speak in her sexy Spanish accent all day…and that’s before the fucking all night. Her body, face, tits and ass are so spectacular that gazing at them will make you slap yourself and call yourself Bruce. We don’t even know what that means.
So anyway, watch her and other hotties, Sienna West, Angela Aspen and blonde Haley Cummings guide stray cocks through their milk cannon slalom course and let them shed sticky white tears of joy all over the place when they cross the finish line. It’s so awesome, you might shed a few tears of your own!