Archive for February, 2011

Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee’s Honeymoon Fuckfest

Posted in Uncategorized on February 28th, 2011
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Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee Honeymoon Fuckfest

The one thing* we’ll never understand about celebrities is this: if you want to create a scandal, and you’ve got millions of dollars at your disposal, why are you putting out sex tapes? Can’t you put out some sex DVDs or Blu-Rays at this point? Seriously.

*It should be noted that there are a lot of things we’ll never understand about celebrities, but since this is a porn blog, we’ll try to focus on the porn part.

So, anyway, before leaking sex tapes became a career move, they were a security breach of the most lascivious kind. Trusted members of a celebrity couple’s inner circle sold their souls for a quick buck and an appearance on Hard Copy, a move that threatened to derail the gravy train in which they rode. Granted, a falling out of some kind was probably about to derail it anyway, prompting the release of the “cramming in”.

There was a time not so long ago when these tapes actually had shock value. The Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee tape was one such instance. The shock precipitated on several fronts: It was perhaps the first internet-driven sex video. Pamela was the “it” girl at the time. And Tommy Lee had a giant dick, which was amazing for a burned-out rocker, a guy who looked as if he had gone weeks between meals, but minutes between meth binges.

But, we all couldn’t get enough of this classic, a home video made on their honeymoon boating excursion on Lake Mead, which is just outside Las Vegas. That’s right…they were on a motherfucking boat! The two were wed having known each other a whopping four days. Hey, when it’s love, right? The film captured the fun and frolic shared by both parties and while it’s normal to want to preserve the memories for all eternity, it might be best to think twice when it’s all drinking, smoking and sex because you never know where it might end up.

Well, it ended up in our VOD. And it’s here in all its pussy-humping, blowjobbing, skinny-dipping, horn honking with Tommy’s dick, cum spilling, masturbatory glory. Take a look and watch what it was like when sex tapes actually meant something.

Running Time:   55 minutes
Studio Name:   NUKO Media LLC

Simpsons, the XXX Parody: Marge and Homer’s Sex Tape

Posted in Uncategorized on February 25th, 2011
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Simpsons, the XXX Parody: Marge and Homer's Sex TapeMainstream pop culture observers seem shocked that a “Simpsons” porn parody exists, but those of us who write about smut for a living are only surprised that it took this long. “Simpsons, the XXX Parody: Marge and Homer’s Sex Tape” was worth the wait. Every fan so inclined to watch a porn version of the show is probably most interested in seeing how they portray that blue-haired siren, Marge Simpson. You’ll be happy to know that XBIZ Female Performer of the Year Andy San Dimas is playing the part. Even if you aren’t a fan yet, you’ll be glad she was cast. Beyond the main event, there are sex scenes with other favorite Springfield characters as well.

As the movie begins, Homer (Anthony Rosano, but we see little of him because he’s usually behind the camera) trades the sex tape he and Marge made for a bag of doughnuts. The rest of the movie is a look at the illicit footage itself. Marge, posing in front of a full-length mirror with the camera behind her, feels frisky about the sexual possibilities that arise thanks to the new camcorder. Something else arises in Homer’s pants once he finally realizes Marge is telling him she wants to make a sex tape. She lets her hair down and starts to blow him, her dirty talk adding lots of excitement. Just as it’s getting hot, Homer’s attention wanders to the TV, where a McBain porno has just started playing.

After shooting the bad guy, McBain (Evan Stone) heroically lays female sidekick Nancy (Atlanta Hawks dancer turned porn star Briana Blair) on a tabletop and gives it to her just like you would want everybody’s favorite yellow action hero to do. Nancy squeals in pleasure with his manly thrusts and begs for his load on her daffodil-colored ass. When he’s done, there’s no time for cuddling because there are more Korean plutonium thieves to hunt down. Nobody in porn could have been better cast as McBain than Evan Stone.

Homer films Marge while she’s dusting and talks her into flashing some lemony ass cheek, against her better judgment – she worries that a neighbor could walk in at any minute. Sure enough, Moe (James Deen, looking better than cartoon Moe but definitely sounding the part) barges in and finds out Marge wears a magenta thong under that green dress! Moe is here to borrow the camcorder for a hot date with real estate agent Cookie Kwan (Asia Zo). Never mind that Cookie thinks she’s there to appraise his apartment, because Moe talks her into fucking him by lying that he’s actually rich and he only looks ugly because he wears a mask to hide his true good looks. Gold-digging, ambitious Cookie can’t jump his bones fast enough after that. He rubs her clit while playing with her perky tits and she gives him a hot blowjob. Then Cookie proves that not only is she number one on the west side, but also number one on her back side, front side… any side on which she takes Moe’s energetic thrusts.

At least, that is until Marge shows the other girls how it’s done. Now that she and Homer have the camera back, they can finally film their frolicking. Homer appears to eat Marge out in P.O.V. style, with the camera giving us an intimate view of her mound. If you’ve always imagined that this blue-haired babe would be a tiger in bed, you’re right. Actually, she’s a tiger on the couch, but you get the picture. Marge fucks Homer’s shaft and then wants to taste her own juices on Homer’s cock for a while before doing it doggy style. They have sex in different positions, always showing Marge to her best advantage. Andy San Dimas stays in character (and voice) the whole time, and not even a blue wig and yellow body paint can diminish her extreme beauty and sex appeal. When Homer pops, Marge proves to be a dirty girl indeed, spitting it out on his cock and licking it back up to swallow.

Director Lee Roy Myers has captured the hilarious essence of yet another pop culture institution with this first release from his self-titled studio. Everybody is well cast and the makeup is great, courtesy of talented industry makeup pro 2Ply. Josh Thomas does note-perfect voice impersonations of Homer and Barney (who we never see, but he’s helping Moe film his tryst with Cookie through a hole in the wall). This is a “Simpsons” parody that should amuse you and satisfy your curiosity.

Stars:   Andy San Dimas Asia Zo Briana Blair Eddie Adams Evan Stone James Deen Anthony Rosano Josh Thomas
Categories: New Release Feature Adult Humor Parody High Definition
Running Time: 107 minutes
Released:   01/2011
Studio Name:   Lee Roy Myers Movies
Director:   Lee Roy Myers

Top Picks for the Weekend

Posted in Uncategorized on February 24th, 2011

The Bombshells 2 (Elegant Angel)

The Bombshells 2

Try this problem on for size: All-star lineup of men and women + Elegant Angel + William H. Nutsack in the director’s chair = ??? Well, it certainly doesn’t equal a problem, but it does equal a very enthralling second volume to what is fast becoming one “bombshell” of a series. Buttwoman Alexis Texas, anal explorer Sara Sloane and the hot as balls Sophia Santi are all part of a brilliant cast of female hotties doing what they do best. Sophia even plays with Manuel Ferrara’s nards in a long-awaited boy/girl scene! Mick Blue, Erik Everhard, and Mr. Pete round out the male talent, all of whom bring it with every performance. This is one intense flesh trip! Check it out!

Stars:   Sophia Santi Alexis Texas Sara Sloane Breanne Benson Erik Everhard Mr. Pete Manuel Ferrara Mick Blue Katsuni

Categories: New Release All Sex
Running Time:   149 minutes
Released:   01/2011
Series:   The Bombshells
Director:   William H. Nutsack

Innocent Until Proven Filthy 8 (Jules Jordan)

Innocent Until Proven Filthy 8

There are no gavels or robes or depositions, which is a good thing because a trial of any kind would be a massive waste of taxpayer money. These girls are guilty – GUILTY – of the most heinous acts of sexual treachery known and done to man, and everyone knows it – including the girls. We suppose saying that takes a lot of the suspense out of the equation, but it won’t detract from the boat loads of blowjobs, fucking, anal toy play and more that encompasses the two volumes contained in this single release. All told, it’s about 4 total hours of cock-induced craziness and well-hung juries from one of the masters of filth, Jules Jordan.

Categories: Fetish Big Tits New Release Pantyhose/Stockings All Sex

Running Time:   118 minutes
Released:   01/2011
Director:   Erik Everhard

Transsexual Cheerleaders 5 (Devils Film)

Transsexual Cheerleaders 5

2…4…6…8…who do we appreciate? Trannies! There were already Tranny Prostitute and Tranny Babysitter films, so why not Tranny Cheerleaders? Some of these t-girls are so hot there’s no way you would know that behind the pom-poms are a giant pair of tits while underneath the pleated skirts are giant penises. Imagine the joy these ladies would bring to the crowd during the game and perhaps the shock they might cause to the male pep squad acting as anchors to a human pyramid. Watch out for those high kicks! Is the crowd yelling “boo” or “booocock”?

Running Time:   128 minutes
Released:   11/2010
Studio Name:   Devil’s Film Devils Film

What’s the Best Anal Porn?

Posted in Uncategorized on February 23rd, 2011
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Sexual Ussault VehicleSometimes the best way to rock a man’s world is by letting him fuck you in the ass. Just ask Lisa Ann, whose butt-lovin’ “Anally Yours…Love, Lisa Ann” is one of the most watched movies in one of the most popular porn categories of all. With well over 12,500 movies listed, anal is one of the biggest categories in our VOD Theater.

One studio is so obsessed with anal that it bills itself as “the all-anal company.” The Ass Factory is the brainchild of director/producer/actor Jules Jordan and is making a big impression already, even though it’s only been around since last September. “Gape Lessons” was the studio’s first release, and with a title like that you know you’re in for some great hole-stretching scenes. Kristina Rose and Bobbi Starr are among the movie’s stars, and as their fans know these are two of the best-looking dirty sluts in the business. Next came “Deep Anal Drilling,”Deep Anal Drilling 2packed with even more of the top nasty girls in porn: reigning two-time AVN Performer of the Year Tori Black, filthy-minded German hottie Amy Ried, gorgeously slutty Spaniard Rebeca Linares, and big-titted blonde MILF Shyla Stylez. The movie was great enough that it became a series, and Amy Ried loved doing the first movie so much she came back for more. Joining her in part two are insatiable Asian stunner Asa Akira, gorgeous new brunette Chanel Preston in her first DP, and Miami mamacita Abella Anderson in two scenes. Anal porn fans, definitely keep your eyes on The Ass Factory.

Elegant Angel, one of the top porn studios, produces one of the most stroke-worthy series out there for ass lovers, Big Wet Asses. Although not an all-anal series, these movies have Performers of the Year 2011featured some of the most memorable first-time-anal and first-time-DP scenes in recent years. Most recently, Big Wet Asses featured Caroline Pierce doing her first anal scene with ladies’ man Manuel Ferrara in BWA18. You also can’t go wrong with BWA15, featuring anal debuts from naturally busty beauty Gianna Michaels and big-butt babe Ava Rose. Some other big first-timers have included Jayden Jaymes giving it up in BWA17 and Sunny Lane surrendering her ass in BWA13. It’s easy to see why this line of movies has won AVN’s treasured Best Anal Series award many times.

If you like it a little nastier, then you’re probably already familiar with the multiple AVN Award-winning series Evil Anal, the reigning Best Anal Series champion, Evil Anal 11from Manuel Ferrara Productions. Always a go-to male star for women who are looking to lose their anal cherries, Manuel is also brilliant behind the camera as the director of this fantastically freaky series. “Evil Anal 12″ is the latest edition and it demonstrates perfectly what makes this line of movies a top choice in the anal category. Incredible women are doing depraved things in this movie that you’ll definitely want to see, including Euro slut Angel Dark, deceptively innocent-looking Katie St. Ives, and stunning French goddess Lou Charmelle. Of course, the gorgeous women are all over every installment of this series. Take EA11, for example, with today’s hottest porn superstar Tori Black and Czech super-slut Tarra White among those putting on their best ass workouts for your orgasm. The beautiful Jandi Lin, who broke many hearts when she retired in 2008, is forever sexy and hungry for Manuel’s cock in every hole during the opening scene of EA5 – definitely one of the classic volumes of the Evil Anal series.

Special mention also goes to Jay Sin’s Anal Acrobats series, for those of you who love the girls who perform circus acts with their bungholes!

Sex with Sandra Shine

Posted in Uncategorized on February 22nd, 2011
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Sex with Sandra Shine

Here’s a riddle for you: What do Peaches, Jo, Eve Angel and Sophie Moon have in common? If you said two boobs, one pussy and a nice bum then you’re a major smart ass. If you said they’re women then, wow, are you ever an astute observer of detail. But, if you said that they are all part of Viv Thomas’ “Sex With…” line of films then you certainly know your porn. And being a know-it-all you probably also know that his team strives to create tasteful, sensual and high quality erotica in a positive, fun and original way.

Should you, however, happen to fall into the smart ass or “highly astute” categories mentioned above, you might be unfamiliar with his ridiculously hot body of work. To that we say: get acquainted immediately! That means starting with the newest addition to the “Sex With…” line called Sex with Sandra Shine. Like the other women in the series, Sandra is a natural beauty with perfect skin, shapely figure and adoration for other members of the fairer sex.

The best part about this series though is that you don’t have to go searching through tens or hundreds of volumes to find your favorite scenes. They’re all here, meticulously culled together by Viv himself – kind of like a greatest hits package of sorts. There is a sensual solo masturbation scene to start it all off, plus six different scenes with six different stunning babes, including the lovely Eve Angel from “All About Eve” and Sophie Moon from “Return of Sandy”.

Here you’ll get your fill of lapped lips, caressed clits, 69 action, anal fingering, toy play and even a rim job or two by some of the finest erotic female specimens from around Europe. With a variety of settings including the bedroom, doctor’s office, pool and more, layered on a backdrop of soft, ambient music, Sex With Sandra Shine is a trove of carnal pleasures that will appeal to everyone, especially couples looking for something less gratuitous and more sensual. Win!

Categories: Lesbian New Release Euro International All Sex All Girl British

Running Time:   159 minutes
Released:   01/2011
Studio Name:   VivThomas.com
Series:   Sex With
Director:   Viv Thomas

Pussy Talk

Posted in Classic on February 21st, 2011
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Pussy Talk

The study of philosophy tells us that when you define something, its opposite also becomes true. So, if there exists something called hot, there must exist the opposite of hot, or cold. If there exists fast, there must also exist slow. If there exists big, there must also exist small. You get the point.

In 1972, the film Deep Throat defined the fact that a woman’s clitoris could reside in her throat. That means that somewhere there must exist the opposite of that. But what is the opposite of a clitsophagus? Apparently it’s a blabgina. Released in 1975, Pussy Talk stars Penelope LaMour as Joelle, a woman who discovers that within her second pair of lips resides a very opinionated, very sharp-tongued entity. The main problem with this set up (as if loquacious labia weren’t bad enough) is that the entity has no filter and a poor sense of timing, which makes for all kinds of awkward social interactions. Of course, because it’s porn, they all lead to sexual encounters, which is good for the you, the viewer.

The classic scene in this one is the dinner party where Joelle’s pussy gets bored and decides to take matters into its own hands – by using Joelle’s hands on itself. There she sits, solitary, in plain view on the couch, running her finger through her hairy slit. Talk about a party foul (and possibly two if you’re opposed to hairy snatches.) As Joelle’s friskiness hogs the g-spotlight, everyone suddently stops to watch the spectacle. Her hubby Eric (Nils Hortzs) is understandably horrified and starts to doubt his ability to satisfy her.

He calls in a shrink (Ellen Earl), but Joelle’s slit siren begins talking smack to the good doctor. Its persuasive ways lead to shock on the part of the shrink and to part of the shrink being shocked – namely with a thorough ass fucking from Eric. After that, she approaches Joelle and temporarily appeases the pompous pussy with a good licking.

From here, the film takes a decidedly strange and more sexual turn. Thanks to a press conference by the doctor, word about Joelle circulates around town and she becomes more or less a circus freak in the eyes of the general public. To escape the attention, she and Eric retreat to her childhood home where she begins to have flashbacks of her youth. Beatrice Harnois plays the young Joelle as she recounts abuse suffered at the hands of her step-father; trying to lose her virginity to her boyfriend only to give it up to a Pinocchio marionette (a must-see); fucking her high school teacher; and seducing her priest at confessional.

When a sleazy reporter (Vicky Messica) discovers her whereabouts, Joelle takes refuge at her Aunt Barbara’s (Sylvia Bourbon). However, the reporter, who desperately seeks an interview with Joelle’s pussy, pays Barbara off to get access. When Joelle recovers from her sedation, she goes home where Eric fucks the entity out of her. However, the act has a very, very strange result. As per usual, you must watch to find out what transpires. What we can tell you that it’s very wacky and it spawned a sequel.

Pussy Talk is fun and entertaining, but also very sexy. It’s one of the truly great films in all of adult cinema, not just the French side of things. It won the Grand Prize at the first and only International Porn Film Festival in Paris during the summer of 1975. Unfortunately, in an attempt to clamp down on porn, European governments levied hefty taxes on filmmakers and production houses forcing massive budget cuts. Projects that began as ambitious endeavors often ended up as back alley afterthoughts.

It’s a damn shame, really.

Running Time:   87 minutes
Released:   11/1975
Studio Name:   ALPHA-FRANCE
Series:   Pussy Talk
Director:   Frederic Lansac

Girl Crush 2

Posted in Uncategorized on February 18th, 2011
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Girl Crush 2

One of the problems with technology today is that it has become so cheap and so available that it’s an awful lot like some of the girls you probably knew in high school. That’s not what I was originally going to say, but the line pretty much wrote itself. Seriously though, it has become so cheap and available that any knuckle butt with a few greenbacks to rub together can fancy himself a filmmaker. What that does, in conjunction with the prevalence of self-publishing sites and YouTube sites and all that mumbo-jumbo, is water down the medium with a shit-ton of crap.

Let’s take that premise one step further. Porn movies have always been considered a few rungs below mainstream filmmaking in overall quality. That’s not to say that there aren’t plenty of treasures among the trash as our VOD would attest, but in the mind’s eye of the general populous it’s pretty abysmal. So, with the glut of cameras dotting the landscape, it only stands to reason that porn is not immune from being watered down by shit-tons of crap either.

Frankly, I have a theory that Gonzo porn was invented just so movie houses could figure out a way to profit from junk filmmaking. You can almost hear the conversation at the executive meetings:

CEO: Gentlemen, we have a problem. We’ve got all this shitty porn flooding the market and it’s eating up our profit margins. What do we do?

Executive 1: Go into another line of business?

CEO: You’re fired. Anyone else?

Executive 2: We could create a new category of porn and call it “shitty porn”

CEO: If you know it’s shitty and you call it shitty, who’s going to watch? We need a name that sounds cool, even though we all know it refers to something shitty.

Executive 3: How about Gonzo?

CEO: You mean like gonzo journalism and Hunter S. Thompson?

Executive 3: No, like Gonzo the Muppet. Everyone loves Muppets. Not everyone likes Hunter S. Thompson.

CEO: Excellent point. All in favor say “aye”.

Executive 2: Aye.

Executive 3: Aye.

Executive 1: Aye.

CEO: Didn’t I just fire you?

So anyway, back to the original topic. Over the past decade, Gonzo filmmaking sort of took over the medium to the chagrin of many both inside and out of the industry. Naturally, the style started to wear thin on the porn-watching public and the demand for something else arose.

If you’re a regular reader or just a part-time peruser of these reviews, you’ve no doubt come across write-ups of movies from companies like Sweet Sinner and Sweetheart Video and others that are all about a more real and raw type of porn. What you see in these films is so beautiful and natural that it barely qualifies as pornography. You know how women make a keen distinction between sex and making love? These films are like that. The only reason this stuff is not shown on the National Geographic channel or something similar is because of our repressed societal views on sex in general. Well, that and because the protagonists aren’t ibexes.

With the growing allure of natural-type porn, the mainstream companies have been getting in on the act. Elegant Angel is one of them. Their Club 59 imprint was created as a lesbian brand, shot exclusively in HD, to show off girls loving other girls as only girls can. There are no “scenarios” and no hokie, porn-y type stuff. There are, however, very revealing mini-interviews with the girls discussing their likes and dislikes and what turns them on about other women. After that, it’s girl-on-girl intimacy at its finest.  And, boy, did they ever deliver with their Girl Crush series.

In just its second installment, director Mason has paired up some unbelievable women. Then again, Elegant Angel has never had a problem ushering in some of the sexiest, sassiest women ever to fuck…ahem…make love on screen.

Kristina Rose and Georgia Jones pair up in the first scene. Georgia is the antithesis of everything manly. She loves different body styles: apples, pears…whatever. Men are interested in the cherries. She likes intuitiveness. Men prefer “do-it-iveness.” She prefers individualism. Guys tend to love girls operating as a collective, especially in this particular scene with Kristina Rose. For Kristina it’s about the little things during lovemaking, also very unlike guys and their focus on the big things. She likes kisses planted in just the right places and the emotion of an encounter. What you’ll want to see: Georgia’s face rooted in Kristina’s crotch, tongue in pussy and nose bridge-deep in pubes. You should also watch the two of them operate out of the spoon position as Georgia skulks behind Kristina, reaching between her open thighs and fingering her wet snatch.

Lily Labeau you may recall from an amazing scene in Mother-Daughter Exchange Club 13. Here she gets it on with Andy San Dimas. Lily likes the sensual aspects of lesbian love. Andy likes the fact Lily is cuddly and warm and soft. What you’ll want to see (besides Lily’s amazing ass and tits): After scissoring each other like animals, Lily lies on her back, holding open her pussy lips so Andy’s tongue can taste her wetness. You’ll also want to see Andy sitting on Lily’s face, literally bursting into tears of ecstasy while Lily laps at her folds like a cat to a water dish.

Allie Haze is gorgeous and sort of resembles Tori Black in some ways. She was a lesbian before she was bi-sexual, admitting to sucking her first dick and then turning the other way. At least she came around somewhat. She is attracted to kissing and thinks women are better kissers than men. Chloe Cane’s first experience with a girl was back in high school during senior graduation. She wasn’t actually graduating from school, but attended the post party as a junior. It was there her friend came out of the closet and made her desires known. Chloe is all grown up now and through her experiences has become quite the lover. What you’ll want to see: Allie slip two fingers knuckle-deep into Chloe’s pussy and finger fuck all of her tension away. Also, make certain not to miss Chloe do her best Rug Doctor imitation on Allie’s pube-covered muff.

Finally, there is Karlie Montana and Hayden Winters. Karlie is all about a girl’s silky, “yummy smelly” skin and the nape of the neck. Her first experience with a girl dates back to kindergarten, but that was just kissing so she’s unsure if that counts. Hayden thinks girls just know what other girls like because they are girls. They’re gentler and they know all the right spots to address. What you’ll want to see: Damn near everything! From Karlie’s 70s-era pale blue shorts creeping up her crack, to watching her nuzzle and kiss Hayden’s insanely gorgeous rack, to Karlie fingering Hayden’s love groove through her ultra-violet panties, to watching her finger fuck Hayden to orgasm, to a hot mutual masturbation scene where the two share a kiss, to the simultaneous orgasms at the end this scene, it is perhaps the best of the lot. There is a reason these two snagged the box cover slot.

It goes without saying (though we’re going to say it) that this film is blisteringly hot. As alluded to earlier, there is no cheesy music or any other distractions to take your attention away from where it should be: on the girls. The only sounds you’ll hear are lips meeting lips, tongues submerged in damp pools of love juice, short, quick breaths and audible climaxes. It really doesn’t get much better than this. If you’re into lesbian films and realness with your porn, this film is a must-see.

Running Time:   187 minutes
Released:   01/2011
Series:   Girl Crush
Director:   Sam No / Mason

Top Picks for the Weekend

Posted in Uncategorized on February 17th, 2011

Azz and Mo Ass 13 (West Coast Productions)

Azz and Mo Ass 13

If we had to venture a guess, the difference between “azz” and “ass” is all a matter of how much junk is in the trunk. Once the booty begins to look like it’s under an electron microscope when compared to the rest of the body, it deserves some Z’s. In contrast, when a lineup of big black cocks, belonging to studs like Mr. Marcus, Wesley Pipes and Rico Strong, are busting up beautiful black asses, some for the first time, there’s no time for Z’s. You’ll need to be fully awake and have all your faculties in proper working order to take in the raunch. This film has tease, rumpshaking, anal fucking, creampies, slo-mo sequences and plenty more to go along with it. And in Tila, Tay, and Asheerah you’ve got two lovely “T’s” to go along with a fine “A” that you can enjoy with some hot Cocoa and wash down with a tasty Daiquiri. The boys at West Coast Productions are deft at drawing up some of the most wickedly dirty ho-bagging that porn has to offer. No reason to stop now!

Running Time:   153 minutes
Released:   11/2011
Studio Name:   West Coast Productions
Series:   Azz And Mo Ass
Director:   TB

Sinderella and Me (Sweet Sinner)

Sinderella and Me

If Disney films have taught us anything, it’s that Elliott is a terrible name for a dragon, dogs shouldn’t eat spaghetti and meatballs and you should never chop up brooms that are carrying pails of water. But the biggest lesson that everyone takes away from a Disney feature is that all girls want to be princesses. As Sweet Sinner reveals in Sinderella and Me, even porn queens, those darling little sluts who are seemingly at the complete opposite end of the regal spectrum, have fantasies of becoming a princess. In this film, director Nica Noelle does a redux on one of the most romantic fables of all time, adding oral daisy chains, 69 action, fingering, masturbation, toe and ball sucking, plus some explosive orgasms to the classic fairy tale. Allie Haze, whom you may recall from Girl Crush 2, plays the gorgeous servant daughter whose evil step-mother (Darla Crane) and ugly stepsisters (Dylan Ryan and Jiz Lee) are determined to keep her away from rich bachelor Manuel Ferrara’s 30th birthday bash. When servant boy Wolf Hudson steps in to help the lovely Sinderella, the stepsisters decide to punish him by forcing the hot young stud into a scorching three-way. Fairy godmother DeLUXE comes to the rescue, and Sinderella heads to the ball where she and Manuel fall in love at first sight. But what dirty little secrets do Manuel and Darla share, and how will the evil MILF use them to get her way with the “charming” Manuel? As usual, you’ll have to watch to find out. Disney should have taught you that too.

Running Time:   145 minutes
Released:   01/2011

Director:   Nica Noelle

MILF Massage Team (Powersville)

MILF Massage Team

Moms deserve a little pampering now and again. After all they do to raise the kids, keep the castle tidy and provide delicious meals for everyone, no self-respecting dude would ever deny her some relaxation time. All that backbreaking labor can really put strain on the musculature, so what better way for her to relax than to get a Swedish deep-tissue massage from a professional? Take Caroline Reese, for instance. She’s had an excruciatingly hectic day trying to get her hair and nails done. Whew! Among stress-related illnesses, cuticle and follicle care is the 9,372nd leading cause, ranking it just above bruised produce and right below faulty tongue depressors. But, while hands on the body spirit away the kinks, they turn people into blubbering fools. Caroline begins to pry into masseur Ryan’s private life, to which Ryan responds by prying into Caroline’s private parts. Shay Fox just got back from a weekend in the Hamptons and her mother-in-law has been driving her crazy. She’s been doing yoga, but the only thing that eases the tension is for Michael to do Shay. Check out the clit on this one! Rayveness has some back problems – two herniated discs that rub against the nerves of her spine. But, Evan Stone has some nerve as well, whipping off the sheet and working over her ass with his hands before working over her mouth and pussy with his cock. Watch her devour that cum. Nom nom nom! Carrie Ann has a problem area, but it has nothing to do with muscles. It has to do with the fact she hasn’t had a big cock in her for a long time – and that’s a problem. Chad fixes that up real nice like. MILF Massage was directed by Jim Powers. And if you thought you had seen this one already, you may have when it was called Malibu Massage Parlor. That “smash” hit was also directed by Jim Powers. We think he even used the same set. He certainly used some of the same male talent. But that’s okay because that film has had massive success and we think this one will follow in its footsteps. If you loved Malibu Massage Parlor, you’ll be hands-over-ass crazy for MILF Massage Team.

Running Time:   150 minutes
Released:   01/2011

Studio Name:   Powersville Inc

Series Review: We Swallow

Posted in Series Review on February 16th, 2011
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We Swallow 30When it comes to capturing the sleazy beauty of sluts slurping semen, Rodney Moore is certainly gifted. You get ample evidence of that in the We Swallow series. Despite his unassuming, frankly somewhat nerdy exterior, Rodney was a pioneer of the POV style that has become so common in today’s porn and he still finds ways to make it fun and interesting.

Volume one begins on a great note as the boobalicious Vantasia is filmed in a POV style that really emphasizes her big natural tits, which is most definitely a good thing. First she sucks on a banana and a great big dildo, and then Rodney himself. He eats her pussy and then fills her asshole with a dildo while they fuck. His stream of cream hits the black leather couch, but Vantasia greedily licks it all up and swallows it just like the title says. Another great scene in this installment of the series includes really horny bar sluts ordering a drink called a “Semen and Seven” fresh from the bartender’s personal supply and getting it on with a strange man in the bathroom. The only bad part of that is we don’t know what bar we need to hang out in so we can track down these girls.

We Swallow 23We get to see a bona fide champion cocksucker in the first scene of “We Swallow 4.” When we meet Domino, she shows off her trophy for giving the best blowjobs from no less an institution than AVN. Joining her is the equally impressive Caroline Pierce, a voluptuous brunette who proves as up to the task of sucking Rodney’s dick as Domino is. In scene four, promiscuous southern belle Victoria Givens is up to her usual sexually adventurous tricks, including some fun on a sex stool, before she gulps down the facial that Rodney gives her.

In a slight departure from most scenes in the series, there’s a “Gilligan’s Island” tribute at the beginning of volume 14 that every fan of busty beauty Gianna Michaels owes it to their dick to watch. Rather than a straight-up parody, it’s more of an homage with We Swallow 7Gianna as the porn star who’s trying to seduce Gooligan, who is meanwhile more interested in the wallflower Carrie Ann (Lindsay Kay). There’s a tangled web to unravel when Gooligan finds Carrie Ann practicing her blowjob skills on the Skipper because she wants to be good at sucking Gooligan’s cock. Disappointed, Gooligan seeks comfort in Gianna’s womanly charms. If you’ve never seen Gianna, then you need to know that this babe has such charms in ample supply and she is always an excitable, energetic performer. While Gooligan and Gianna are going at it, Carrie Ann shows up to join their fun and everybody’s happy. No wonder Gooligan has such a huge load for the girls to slurp down.

We Swallow 15The latest edition of the series is “We Swallow 30,” released in December 2010, which concludes with another display of unbridled sexual appetite from naturally curvy Latina Charley Chase. She brings a guy friend to a massage because she’s into “lots of hands,” and she keeps trying to find ways to get both guys massaging her at the same time. The massage therapist finally gives in to her insistence on everybody being naked, and of course it’s not long before the massage becomes a threeway. Charley just won AVN’s Unsung Starlet Award and the wet, slobbering blowjobs she dishes out in this scene perfectly demonstrate why she deserved it.

Hot girls who swallow – what could be finer?

Gazongas

Posted in Uncategorized on February 15th, 2011
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Gazongas

Boobs, hooters, tits, fun bags, speed bumps, gazongas – whatever you call them it can only mean two things.

That’s the joke.

So, anyway, the French used to say that the perfect breast could fit into a champagne glass. Of course, the French used to surrender a lot, so it’s hard to put much stock into the conviction behind their belief system. Besides, have you ever actually looked at a champagne glass? If that shape doesn’t spell “get out the tire gauge and check those puppies for tread wear” nothing does. That said, who really knows what the perfect breast size is anyway? If beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder then surely bustage, being a subset of beauty, has its own special spot somewhere along the optic nerve.

If you like small tits, that’s great. If you like big tits, that’s great too. But, there’s one thing that megalo-melonical types can offer that no Braille bumped babes can and that’s a nice long fuck fissure straight along the longitudinal axis. Need proof? Then check out the film Gazongas by our pals over at Devil’s Film. They’re out to prove the theory that bigger is better when it comes to boobage. And if you mammage to get through the whole thing, we think you’ll see it their way.

The film stars Rebeca Linares. That’s really all you need to know, to be completely honest. Remember how a perfect breast goes into a champagne glass? Well, the perfect girl should go into a Rebeca Linares. We could listen to her speak in her sexy Spanish accent all day…and that’s before the fucking all night. Her body, face, tits and ass are so spectacular that gazing at them will make you slap yourself and call yourself Bruce. We don’t even know what that means.

So anyway, watch her and other hotties, Sienna West, Angela Aspen and blonde Haley Cummings guide stray cocks through their milk cannon slalom course and let them shed sticky white tears of joy all over the place when they cross the finish line. It’s so awesome, you might shed a few tears of your own!

Running Time:   127 minutes
Released:   11/2010
Studio Name:   Devil’s Film Devils Film