Archive for July, 2010

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Slim and Filthy

Posted in New Release on July 30th, 2010
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Slim and Filthy

I love it when somebody comes along and does something new. Maybe people might not like it at first or maybe really not at all, but they got a pair of balls for trying. Slim and Filthy, according to my boys over at Filthy Rich Entertainment, is about a new genre that is all about slim girls. It’s not just a good idea, but it also makes sense. I mean, look at all them other categories out there. Someone probably laffed at them the first time someone did those too. But, if they are all good with people that means that the opposite category should be okay as well…except of one. You don’t want a NO Sex category. That would be stupid! They already got a BBW category which stands for Big Beautiful Women, so why not do a category about slim chicks?

The great thing about this flick is that just because they’re slim girls doesn’t mean at all that they ain’t got curves in all the good places and stuff. What’s more is that all these slim chicks like big, interracial cocks to fuck ‘em. Does monsters count as a race, ’cause I sure got a big yellow cock that I’d want to use on them? It would plump up certain parts, but they could still be mostly slim!

Anyway, this one features the hot Asian, Asa Akira, who is doing only her 2nd interracial scene ever. The same is so for the hot as fuck Natalia Rossi, who just came into porn last year. Man, I hope she’s gonna be here for a good while. Then you also got Jasmine Jolie doing her first exclusive interracial scene. Plus, aside from the rather newness of interracial, you got the old, classic style fucking with plenty of masturbation and cock sucking, ball licking and really awesome cumshots to the face.

I guess I’m going to go now and not fuck something…in the opposite sense!

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Rocco Siffredi’s Puppet Master 9

Posted in New Release on July 29th, 2010
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Puppet Master 9

Puppet Master 9

Rocco did it again with another movie full of real hot dirty girls. I mean sluts like featured babe Asa Akira (she’s the Asian on the right side of the picture in case you forgot already, but I dunno how you could), blonde hottie Darryl Hanah, Sofia Valentine, Johane Johansson, and a coupla girls who just have first names, Marsha, Viki & Klara. I guess they don’t want people knowing they fucked in a movie but if any of their friends see this, the secret is out I tell you! I don’t get people’s hangups about it though, I’d be proud to be in a Rocco Siffredi movie. It also kinda makes it hard to know what other movies they did!

The Puppet Master movies are some of Rocco’s most intense and you know that’s saying a lot. The girls are his own personal sex puppets. Well, sometimes they are Cristian Devil’s sex puppets or George Uhl’s sex puppets because Rocco has some horny friends too. These are all group sex scenes, threesomes more particularly with one that’s kind of an orgy with groups all fucking in smaller groups. It’s all rough sex with people yanking on hair, tugging on nipples, biting, sticking a cock from ass to mouth… all the good fun stuff that you know you’re getting in a Rocco movie. If you got a fetish for smoking you should also check out the last scene. Basically if you ever dreamed it up something dirty to do with two girls, chances are real good Rocco gets them to do it. I never get tired of watchin’ it either!

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Asa Akira

Posted in Uncategorized on July 28th, 2010
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Asa Akira

One of the reasons I like to go fucking you humans is that you are all different. Like, the body parts are all called the same thing, but some have big tits, some have tiny little twats, some are tall, some are petite. We monsters are all kind of pretty so much the same. What’s even cooler about the human girls is on top of all the different sizes, they got different colors depending on where they’re from! Black, white and every color in between. Shoot, monsters is always, has always and will always be yellow. Sorta boring if you ask me.

That’s why I love this Asa Akira girl. She’s got her old relatives who came from Japania, so she has this total Asian look about her. I don’t know why I like Asian girls so much. Maybe it’s their super perfect skin or maybe because Asa is only 5’2″ and 100-some pounds I feel a lot taller around chicks like her. I don’t know, but with this one I think it’s because she loves to fuck so much. That’s kind of weird to say because she’s only been in porn for a couple of years, since doing a girl/girl scene in a movie from Gina Lynn’s production outfit. But she really started to turn heads (and suck them) when she done a threeway in Control Freaks.

Her dang hot fuck scene helped her get some good gigs with some of the big name studios. Wicked, Penthouse, Hustler, Vivid, and Jules Jordan Video have all wanted a piece of Asa. And what a piece she is!

On top of that, she not only fucks hard and fast, but she was real fast to get nominated for some awards too: the 2009 XBiz award for new starlet of the year, the 2010 AVN award for best actress in ‘Pure’, the 2010 AVN award for best couples sex scene in ‘Pure’, the 2010 AVN award for best new starlet, the 2010 AVN award for most outrageous sex scene for ‘Pure’ and the 2010 XRCO award for single performance actress in ‘Pure’. Funny she got so much recognition for being “pure”. She’s anything but! Speaking of but, I’d sure like to hit that fine, fine ass of hers!

Control Freaks

Asian Booty

Oriental Babysitters

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Erica McLean’s “Alice”

Posted in Feature, Porno News on July 27th, 2010
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Director Erica McLean is bringing a new “Alice” porno out next month with Sunny Lane playing Alice, Evan Stone as the Mad Hatter, Nicki Hunter as the Duchess, April Flores as the Queen, Andy San Dimas playing the White Rabbit, Aiden Starr as Tweedledee, Kimberly Kane playing Alice’s sister, and a whole bunch of other people. This is how the website tells about it:

19 year old Alice sits with her sister, reading a strangely erotic book when there appears a White Rabbit. Alice follows the rabbit down a well and finds herself in Wonderland, a place of excitement and pleasure. The White Rabbit suggests that Alice comes with her to “The Hole” the most popular nightclub in Wonderland.

Along their way Alice encounters many curious beings including The Catepillar, The Cheshire Cat, The evil Queen and even stumbles into a Mad Hatter’s tea party. Each encounter leads Alice closer to understanding the true wonder of Wonderland…

Can’t wait to see this one! Who doesn’t wanna see Alice fuck the Mad Hatter? Who doesn’t think Andy San Dimas would be the hottest White Rabbit they ever saw?

Sunny Lane

Sunny Lane

Andy San Dimas

Andy San Dimas

Evan Stone

Evan Stone

Nicki Hunter

Nicki Hunter

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Featured Movie: Hot Shower All-Stars

Posted in Uncategorized on July 26th, 2010
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Hot Shower All Stars

I guess a fair question would mostly have to be this: if a couple girls take a shower together with the end idea being that they get clean, does licking each other’s pussies and tits and other parts make them cleaner or dirtier when they’re done? As a monster I don’t really know the answer to that question at all, but I never thought much about showers and stuff since we don’t really take no shower or even no bath for all that matter. We mostly just find a lake or lick ourselves or hope it rains or something. So, I guess from a monster side of things, the added tongues to the twats would make them cleaner and the dirtier part would be more in one of them metafourikal ways.

After watching this film and the cute girls of all shapes and sizes hooking up in a shower, I think I’m going to have to try me some shower fucking after this. Katie Morgan and Phoenix Ray steam up the screen in the first bit of play with a bunch of fingering, toy play and masturbation. Stormy and Mary Carey add some 69 to that last bit in the second scene. Jenna Haze and Cassandra turn up the steam even more with an outdoor shower scene though all that steam kinda vanishes into the air. They’re super into each other and do pussy grinding and some 69. They look really hot together, and would even look hotter with me fucking them!

Celeste Star and Alexis Love take over the screen and will mostly bust open the fly of your pants in the next scene. They’re also outside and sexy as all hell, especially Alexis and her slick, totally shaved slit. Not only do they finger each other, but they do some strap-on shower fucking that is big intense! Renae Cruz and Lola Banks add a rim job to the action and Ann Harlow brings her mega-slender body and really hairy pussy to her scene with Ashley Blue.

So, you can see that it’s all shower stuff, but each pair puts some unique twists into their fucking, making this a for sure see film. Now I gotta go and try to wash off all my dirty thoughts, though it’s gonna take a big ton of soap!

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Performers of the Year 2010

Posted in Uncategorized on July 24th, 2010
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Performers of the Year 2010

Performers of the Year 2010

This is a movie that’s been out since the first of the year but I just now got a chance to talk about it cause I’ve been so busy with the other porn these babes have been in! Jenna Haze, Alexis Texas, Bobbi Starr, Tori Black, Kagney Linn Karter, Julia Ann, and Kristina Rose are here to show why Elegant Angel named them Performers of the Year 2010. It ain’t the same as the AVN or XRCO or whatever awards shows say, but you know Tori was named Performer of the Year for AVN, XBIZ, XRCO, and F.A.M.E. this year. Jenna Haze won the same awards at most of those same letter-named places last year and some of these other girls are for sure gonna have to win sometime. Some of ‘em got nominated a few times.

Tori is one of the prettiest dirty girls ever and she goes after Mark Ashley’s cock like a starving woman who found a sausage.  Kristina is all bendy while Mick Blue pounds her and she gives him a footjob. Alexis launches into a fuck with Johnny Sins that looks like they’d do it even with no camera there. Julia Ann is the AVN MILF/Cougar Performer of the Year 2010, she’s hot as ever, and she’s fucking AVN Male Performer of the Year Manuel Ferrara. I heard all the girls love him so maybe these chicks drew straws or had a catfight to see who got to do the scene with him. They are great at fucking each other! Next is Jenna, who worships Michael Stefano’s dick, slobbing the knob and getting stuffed so good she turns into a dirty talking whore. Kagney is the newest girl here and if she ain’t a huge name yet, just wait. Fucking like she does here, with last year’s AVN Male Performer of the Year James Deen, is good enough to make her a star along with her hot body and face. Last but not least with a scene that takes up most of the bonus disc is Bobbi, who rivals Tori for prettiest dirty girl ever. Even with her hair shorter she is still total sex. Mark Ashley does her in the throat, pussy, and ass. Her beautiful face looks even better with a load in her mouth.

These are some of the best porn sluts around right now and they’re all in one movie, so if you haven’t seen it yet you need to stop whatever you’re doing and give your cock the jerk of a lifetime.

Jenna Haze

Jenna Haze

Bobbi Starr

Bobbi Starr

Julia Ann

Julia Ann

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Monster Dicks for Young Chicks 6

Posted in Uncategorized on July 23rd, 2010
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Monster Dicks for Young Chicks 6

I can’t even start to tell you how excited I got when I saw the title of this one. “FINALLY! My time is here,” is what I was thinkin’. I’m gonna fuck a whole bunch a young, hot chicks with my huge yellow dick and the title is gonna rhyme and I’m gonna be famous and then I’m going to go and buy a new house with a pool and a car and the car is gonna be a water car so I can drive IN the pool…you know, all kinds of stuff that as a monster I can’t use. But it would only be to make all those movie guys jellis for not putting me in there movies sooner.

And then I thought that if I’m doin’ this here blog about the movie then it is already done. I know I ain’t got the best memory or nothing, but I remembered that I’d probably remember fucking Jenna Haze and a bunch of other chicks and driving around in a water car. So then I got bummed out. But, then I watched the film and all them girls gettin’ fucked and I forgot all about the pool and the fame…until now when I’m writing about it, which makes it hurt all over again. But, then I watched the first scene of little Jenna getting anal fingered and anally fucked by Mark Davis and I was good again.

Sophia also helped by blowing and handjobbing Lexington Steele’s huge black cock. She also took it in the ass. Nikki Nite and Angel long also get fucked in the ass real good, with Angel doing some ATM action on Lex’s ridickulous prick in the last scene. In fact, if you are digging the anal sex thing you’ll definitely want to check this one out. The only one who doesn’t do any is Mandy Starr, but she’s really hot and there is a rim job and toe sucking for any foot fetishists out there. I’m not big on feet…especially humans with their five toes – Bleeeeccchhhh!

Jenna Haze

Sophia

Angel Long

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New Release: Jenna Haze’s Meow

Posted in New Release on July 22nd, 2010
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Meow

Meow

Jenna is not just the star of “Meow” but the director too. There ain’t a dick to be seen and sometimes that is just fine by me, except that I do see my dick of course because I’m jerkin it to the stuff I see on the screen.

In this movie Jenna has a hot girl-on-girl reunion with her ex-girlfriend Monique Alexander that reminds her she likes it lesbo. Then two uber hot redheads, Dani Jensen and Faye Reagan, are in a scene together that you canNOT miss if you like sexy gingers! And sexy gingers that eat pussy especially! Later Jenna is back to tease and play with blindfolded Charmane Star, and sometimes a blindfold can be really hot especially when it’s two babes like this. Carmen McCarthy bugs Sophia Santi for some attention and boy does she get it, with some fingering and 69. Then switch over to part two to see the rest… first there’s some power play for dominance and submission with Sophia and Jenna. Next Jenna tries out some fresh new meat, err clam I guess, when she plays with Alexis Capri, who hasn’t done that many movies. I can’t blame Jenna for wanting to try out the new girl! Finally there’s a fiery hot scene with Zoe Britton and Karlie Montana to end things on a high note.

All the girls look good enough to eat in their lingerie and stockings. Normally I just want ‘em to get naked ASAP so I can get to everything better, but when I’m watchin girls play together something about the frilly undies is like frosting on the cupcake.

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Jenna Haze

Posted in Featured Director, Featured Star on July 21st, 2010
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Jenna Haze

You gotta love a porn chick that aims really high. Jenna Haze is one of them girls. She wants to be the all-time nastiest, dirtiest slut there ever could be. If all her big shiny awards and that aren’t proof (AVN Award for Best New Starlet of the Year and Best Solo Sex Scene in 2003 and an award for Best Interactive DVD in 2008 called Interactive Sex With Jenna Haze) then her want to fuck guys, girls, guys and girls and whatever should be all you need. Heck, by that standard, I should win ton of awards. I’ll fuck damn near anything! But they don’t got no Best Monster award at the AVN or nothing. Maybe they should start!

Speaking about high, Jenna took her name from that one guitarist dude, Jimi. Yeah the one who wrote that song…you know Foxy Lady. Oh, yeah but he also gone and did that one Purple Haze tune. I wish I could play an instrument as good as he did. Mostly though I just play with myself, unless I got some hot chick like Jenna around that I can fuck. Like I said, she does anything. Not just people-wise, but positions too. I’m gettin’ all horny just thinkin’ about humping Jenna’s tiny little pussy and that smokin’ ass with her all-natural 34B-22-32 figure. Normally I say little ’cause I mean tight, but her pussy is really little. She’s only 5’3″ and about 90-some pounds. I don’t know where she hides all that cock she takes.

She been in a ton of flicks starting with Joey Silvera’s Service Animals 4, in 2001. And only seven or so years later, she had her her own place where she makes her own films. It’s called Jennaration X Studios, and she directed Cum-Spoiled Sluts as the first Jennaration X release, in 2009. That’s pretty good for a girl that quit school when she was a teen and had a bunch of junk jobs. I’m glad I ain’t human sometimes, cause I wouldn’t do no good at nothing unless its the Monster School of Fucking. I’d be on the Dean’s List there with one of them Latin terms, someone cumming loudly or something.

Good to hear Jenna has found her purpose in life. I’m about to go and continue mine right now by fucking something!

Interactive Sex With Jenna Haze

Cum-Spoiled Sluts

The Office: A XXX Parody

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New Release: Rocco Ravishes Hollywood

Posted in New Release on July 20th, 2010
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Rocco Ravishes Hollywood

Rocco Ravishes Hollywood

See that picture of Rocco Siffredi spraying champagne all over that hot girl’s ass at the bottom of the cover? I never saw a better pic to show just how much like a monster my man Rocco really is. I mean that in a good way. He knows sex is fun and it ain’t that serious. Rough sex with a girly who’s just as into it as you is better than any other kinda sex if you ask me and I bet Rocco would agree.

So Rocco went all the way from Italy to Hollywood so he could fuck these girls and I dunno about you, but I would do the same thing. He’s got Nikki Benz, Dana DeArmond, Andy San Dimas, Ally Ann, Amy Brooke, Roxy Reed, Dani Jensen, and Ann Marie Rios in this movie! Most people would prolly hog all that hot snatch to themselves but Rocco is good monster-people. He shares with his buddies Cristian Devil and Toni Ribas.

Dana, Ally, Toni, and Cristian have an awesome orgy in the first scene. I always get off real well to Dana DeArmond and this time is no different, she gets super wet and gushy and so did I watching it. There is plenty of blowjob and throat fucking action along with anal and some 69.

Then in the next scene, Rocco has a threesome with Nikki and Ann Marie! If you like tittie fucking there’s some of that, and for once Rocco is more about the pussy with these two but don’t worry, he gets some ass-fucking in later.

Next there are super gorgeous Andy and cute porn newbie Roxy teaming up on Cristian for some  rimming and toe sucking and anal.

It closes out with Rocco in a 3-way with hot redhead Dani and blonde butt-slut Amy. Amy is pretty new to porn and already she’s done about the same number of movies as Dani in half the time. I dunno if that means Dani is pacing herself or if Amy is fucking like she’s making up for lost time. Anyway, Dani seduces Rocco (like that’s hard to do) with her smokin’ body and a necklace made of fruit. They get it on by the pool and then go inside where Amy joins in. Rocco does a standing 69 with Amy hanging upside down! She gets fucked anally. Dani gets fucked in the pussy so hard her left leg starts shaking, it’s weird but it’s such a hard and rough fuck I can see how it would happen. Sweat is pouring off Rocco by this point and he’s not even close to being finished. Rocco’s cock is real busy between both girls’ mouths, Amy’s ass and Dani’s pussy. It’s kinda inspiring how hard he manages to fuck and for how long, so if you’re gonna pick just one scene to watch I say it oughta be either this one or the Dana one.

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